Thursday, April 21, 2005 Copyright 2005 National Broadcasting Co. Inc. MATT LAUER, co-host: And this morning on our special series RAISING KIDS TODAY: THIRTY DAYS OF SECRETS FROM PARENT TO PARENT, we'll tackle the subject of how to raise well-rounded children without over-scheduling them. We asked some parents you may recognize to weigh in on this topic. Ms. KATIE COURIC: I try not to schedule my kids so much. First of all, they have so much homework, I don't want them to be so stressed out about that. And also I think there's something to be said for downtime, for letting a child entertain, amuse themselves. Mr. AL ROKER: I think the--the idea that, you know, your kids should be busy all the time, whether it's with homework or after school stuff or extracurriculars, is--is a mistake. I mean, I think there's some reason for them to do that. I think there should be, you know, stimulation, but I think you can push it too far. Ms. ANN CURRY: I leave what my kids do as extracurricular activities to my kids. I leave that to them. I ask them, `What do you want to do? Do you want to do dance? Do you want to do soccer? Do you want to do acting class? What about--this is up to you.' And they tend to overschedule themselves. So I say, you know, this is too much. LAUER: Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld is a child psychiatrist and co-author of "The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap." Doctor, good to see you. Good morning. Dr. ALVIN ROSENFELD ("The Over-Scheduled Child"): Good morning, Matt. Thanks for having me here. LAUER: Let me read you some poll numbers here that I think are a little bit astounding. Fourteen thousand parents were surveyed by Parenting magazine and AOL. Eighty-six percent of those believe that their kids are overscheduled. I mean, that--that's an alarming number. Dr. ROSENFELD: Shocking. LAUER: No, that's an alarming number. Dr. ROSENFELD: It is an alarming number. I think it's a national crisis. You know, if you look, the overscheduling has invaded every aspect of parenting and the family life. So kids have 100 percent more scheduled activities than 20 years ago, 50 percent fewer underscheduled--free time and that--fewer--and far fewer family meals. LAUER: Let me--let me play devil's advocate for a second... Dr. ROSENFELD: Yeah. LAUER: ...because you'll hear some parents saying, `It's not overscheduling. It's exposing my children to a wide variety of experiences after school.' Where 's the line between that? Dr. ROSENFELD: Well, I think that's terrific to expose your kid to activities, but when you're going 7 AM to 9 PM, I think it's too much. And what 's happened is that golf is no longer America's most competitive adult sport; parenting is. And--and we're following a promise that if you follow this program, your kid's going to be a winner, and if you don't, they're losers. LAUER: Also that--the actual setup of some of these cur--extracurricular activities has changed. Used to be when I was a kid, you know, little league baseball or Babe Ruth baseball lasted two or three months. Now these sports, in particular, they last all year. They've got travel teams, they go on the road. How has that impacted this? Dr. ROSENFELD: It's been terrible. Orthopedic surgeons report about three and a half million stress recreation-linked injuries per year for children five to 14. We've got kids in gymnastics breaking bones. We've got pitchers in Little League pitching 90 games a year. An 11-year-old shoulder isn't built for that. LAUER: On--on one hand, though, we're sending a very mixed message in--in this society because here we are, we say our kids are overscheduled, they're doing too many things after school, and then you talk to college admissions people and they want that well-rounded student. They want the kid's who's been on the high school newspaper and--and the debate club and the baseball team. Dr. ROSENFELD: No, I don't think that's true anymore. It's a tragedy. Colleges are not looking for well-rounded people. They're looking for well-rounded classes. They want to balance a superior athlete with a superior musician, and, in fact, that--it's--it's been a scandal. LAUER: So it doesn't improve your resume and your chances of getting into some schools if you have a lot of activities on it? Dr. ROSENFELD: No, actually not. You know, my own daughter was underscheduled. I mean, we--we really insisted on it, and she's done quite well in college admissions. Wh--what matters is character and passion, that you really love something. LAUER: You-you've got some advice for parents and let--and some of these tips are great, so let's get right to them. Let kids be kids. What do you mean by that? Dr. ROSENFELD: I think childhood's a preparation, it's a time to learn. It's not a time for professional performance. Let them have fun. Let them have downtime. Let them have scheduled activities, too. LAUER: If--if they're involved in an activity and they--they don't show a lot of interest or passion for it, should they drop it? Dr. ROSENFELD: I don't see why they'd have to continue it. However, I don't think they have to be excellent at it either. So if your son wants to play the guitar and he's not going to be a great guitarist, why can't he just enjoy it? LAUER: Keep the kids in the loop. What do you mean by that? Dr. ROSENFELD: Well, I think the kids should be the authors of their own lives, not follow a script that we write for them. So let them choose, as--as someone just said on your segment. LAUER: Let--and also leave empty spaces on the calendar. I mean, downtime is a good thing. Dr. ROSENFELD: It's not only that. America's economic success is built on tinkerers who had their own time, whether it's Alexander Graham Bell or Bill Gates or Steven Spielberg. They made their own opportunities. Downtime gives you a chance to imagine, to create, to see new possibilities no one else saw before. LAUER: And set an example. A lot of parents are overscheduled themselves, constantly running from one event to another. Let your kids see you doing nothing for a change. Dr. ROSENFELD: In fact, do nothing with them. Nothing enriches a child more than just spending time with them with no goal in mind other than pleasure. My happiest memories are on a fishing boat with my dad when we did nothing particular, just sat together. But he wanted to spend the time with me. LAUER: Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, great information, thanks very much. |
